Wild Sexy Love Read online

  My eyes stung. “This is so wrong. You don’t even know if he…”

  “Carries it?” She stared at me, her eyes so like Jason’s it hurt to look at her. “You can bet on that if you like.”

  Amy took my hand. “Daphne…”

  “Is that all?” I asked Sarah, feeling broken inside. “Is that all you wanted to say to him?”

  She didn’t reply.

  “Daphne,” Amy said. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “You’ll tell him?” Sarah asked.

  I stared at her, not sure what to say, then I let Amy lead me to the door, wishing more than anything that I’d never come in the first place.

  Chapter Five

  I was silent through the drive back to the hotel. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. The thought of Jason—powerful, vibrant, magnificent—having his life cut short by sickness was like a joke from the devil himself.

  In the hotel, we gathered our things. Amy seemed to need the silence as much as I did, and it stretched, even on the plane. I stared at the clouds, trying to convince myself everything Sarah had said was a lie.

  Back in our apartment, I was still in shock. Amy followed me to my room and watched as I began to unpack mechanically, not even giving myself time to rest.

  “Daphne,” she said, her voice tentative.

  “I don’t want to talk,” I replied, shaking my head. “I need to…” I stared blankly at her, not even sure what I was going to say. “I need to…”

  She put her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “You don’t need to do anything,” she said. “Not now. Just take your time, and think…”

  “About whether to tell him?”

  She sighed. “Do you want to?”

  I shook my head. “I just…I don’t fucking know.”

  “I assumed you would take the day off.” Jason’s voice was warm, and it wrapped around me like a blanket. I wanted to see him, so much, and yet I was afraid to.

  “No.” I laughed weakly. “I didn’t want to be stuck at home doing nothing.”

  “You wouldn’t have been doing nothing.” He laughed. “You could have been doing me, at lunch. I’m not above abandoning everything here for an hour or two at your place or mine.”

  “Jason!” I sighed. There was nothing I wanted or needed more than to lose myself entirely in his touch. Then, I could forget the weight on my mind.

  “It’s not too late. There’s a suite in the hotel next door with a bed that has our names all over it.”

  “You’re tempting me,” I said.

  “So, be tempted.”

  “I am.”

  “But…”

  “But…” I sighed. “I have a lot of work.”

  There was a long silence from his end then, “Daphne.” He said my name so softly it made me want to cry.

  “I’m here.”

  “Is there something wrong?”

  “No.” I exhaled, sure he could hear the lie in my voice. “Everything is fine.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes!” I forced a laugh. “Why do you think there’s something wrong?”

  “I just…” I heard him sigh. “It’s nothing. Why don’t you get back to work? I’ll see you later.”

  “Yeah,” I replied. “Later.”

  I left work early, choosing to walk home instead of getting a ride. I needed the long walk to clear my head and try to escape the crushing sadness I was feeling.

  I had tried to decide what to do. The sensible thing was to tell Jason. Whatever anger or betrayal he would feel about me going behind his back to speak to his mother would pale quickly when he learned the truth.

  And then what? He’d have to deal with the knowledge that he had a fifty percent chance of succumbing to a debilitating sickness with no cure at an early age?

  Fifty percent chance—those words gave me the only hope I could muster. There was a chance Jason wasn’t affected. He could get tests done to confirm, and everything would go back to normal.

  If he wasn’t affected.

  If he was…

  How would he take it? How would he ever accept that he had a blade hanging over his future?

  Will you tell him?

  I walked past bright displays in store windows. In my mind, even the mannequins seemed to be whispering.

  Will you tell him?

  All my adult life, I’d lived with the fear that if I allowed myself to love, one day I would be left behind again, the way I had been when I was sixteen. I’d kept my heart behind a wall. I had protected myself, and now, the moment I finally let someone in, the moment I finally allowed myself to feel safe, to enjoy the satisfaction of being with Jason, fate had decided to play this cruel joke.

  I’ll never leave you.

  Except, he couldn’t promise that anymore. None of us could, to tell the truth, but when the specter of debilitating mental illness became a reality that was only a matter of time, all promises became useless.

  Will you tell him?

  My phone buzzed in my purse. I pulled it out and read the message from Jason.

  Dinner at my place? I can pick you up from work.

  I stopped walking and blinked back tears. How would I be able to face him? We hadn’t even seen each other, and he could already tell something was wrong. Face to face, I doubted I would be able to hold back.

  I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him, not yet.

  I’ve already had dinner, I typed quickly.

  He didn’t respond.

  Will you tell him?

  I can’t, because I don’t care. I don’t care what happens. I’m going to love him for as long as I live.

  “Hey.” I stepped into the apartment and saw Amy at the sink, wearing one of her oversized sweaters that, right then, looked as heavy as our shared secret.

  “Hey.” I tried to smile. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing much. How was work?”

  “Same.”

  There was a pause. I went over to the couch and fell back into the soft leather, sighing as I kicked off my shoes. “You’re not watching any new shows?”

  “Not right now.” She gave me a searching look. “Have you spoken to Jason?”

  I kept my gaze on the blank screen of the TV. “I haven’t.”

  “I wish I could tell you to just ignore it or say it’s not true, but…”

  “It is true.”

  She sighed.

  “I don’t care,” I said quietly. “I will always love him. I’ll never leave him.”

  “I know. I never thought you would…walk away from him because of this. I know how you feel about him.” She came over to sit beside me and laid a hand on my arm. “But you can’t keep something like this from him. He’s going to find out anyway, one way or another.”

  My chest hurt. “I think I’m gonna go to bed.” I rose from the couch. The truth was, I didn’t want to think. I just wanted to go back, to pretend I wasn’t holding the knowledge that could change Jason’s life for the worse.

  Amy sighed. “I ordered Thai for two. I’m certain you haven’t eaten all day. I’ll get you when the food arrives.”

  I nodded, though the last thing on my mind was food.

  When my door opened about half an hour later, I expected it to be Amy coming to get me because the food had arrived. I had changed out of my work clothes into yoga pants and a t-shirt, and I was sitting at the edge of my bed, my head in my hands.

  I lifted my gaze, and my breath hitched when I saw that it was Jason.

  He stood at the door, watching me, a peculiar expression on his face. He wasn’t wearing a jacket, just a beautiful white shirt that still looked as fresh as if he’d just put it on. It was paired with dark gray pants, and he looked flawless, as he always did. My heart soared at the sight of him.

  “Jason.” My voice was a whisper.

  He had a takeout bag in his hand, and he lifted it to show me. “Amy said this was for you, right before she ran off. She suddenly had to be at Colin’s.” He put the bag on the d
resser and advanced toward me. “You said you’d had dinner.”

  I swallowed. “She…she’d already ordered it when I got here.”

  He nodded slowly then sat beside me on the bed. I wanted to lean into him and forget everything but the feel of his body and the smell of his skin. I closed my eyes, telling myself all that mattered was that he was mine and nothing could come between us.

  “What is going on, Daphne?”

  I took his face in my hands and raised my lips to his. He kissed me back, his mouth hot and hungry as he claimed mine. Our tongues met and danced, spreading a delicious heat through my veins.

  He eased me down onto the soft mattress, his body covering mine as his palm traced the flesh under my t-shirt. I dug my fingers into his hair and drew him closer.

  Our lips met again, and this time, he didn’t release me until I was breathless.

  “You know I can’t resist you,” he said softly, his eyes searching my face.

  I smiled. “I know what that feels like.”

  He stroked my hair then pulled me up so we were both sitting again. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”

  I opened my mouth, but he held up one hand.

  “I know something is wrong. Amy could barely look at me, and you’ve been avoiding me. I can find out what happened over the weekend, but I want you to tell me.”

  I swallowed. “I will…at some point, but it really doesn’t matter.”

  He looked unconvinced. “So why can’t you tell me?”

  Because I love you.

  Because nothing else matters.

  When I didn’t reply, he frowned. “Daphne, if you have a problem, then it’s my problem.”

  “There’s no problem,” I lied. “But there will be if you don’t kiss me again.”

  He probed my face, still hesitating, the concern in his eyes making mine sting with threatening tears. I reached down and pulled my t-shirt over my head. I faced him, topless, desperate for him to touch me, to make me forget.

  “You were saying something about not being able to resist me,” I whispered.

  He chuckled, but his eyes were dark with desire. “You’re trying to distract me.”

  I cupped both my breasts and massaged slowly, keeping my eyes on his. “Am I succeeding?”

  He made a sound like a growl and pulled me to him, crushing our lips together. I could taste his hunger and his desire. I ignored his hesitation and moaned when his warm palms covered my breasts. He flicked my nipples with his thumbs then groaned as he released my lips, lowering his head to cover the tip of one breast with his hot mouth.

  Sensations zipped through me, and I let out a soft moan. I threaded my fingers through the soft thickness of his hair and whimpered when he pushed his hand under my waistband and found my wet folds. He palmed me gently, sending a flood of pleasure to my brain as his fingers spread the warm desire pooling between my legs.

  His mouth left my breast and then his eyes were on mine, burning hotly and drinking in the desire on my face. “You’re mine,” he growled. “No matter what.”

  “No matter what,” I repeated. “Always yours.”

  He dropped to his knees beside the bed and pulled down my pants, discarding them on the floor before spreading my legs wide. Then, like a man preparing to devour a feast, he started to undo his shirt. He removed his monogrammed cufflinks, letting them fall to the floor, and then he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off, exposing his beautifully ripped body.

  I sighed, marveling once again at how perfect he was. I trailed my fingers over his powerful shoulders, and he let me, only for a moment before pushing my legs farther apart and lowering his head between my thighs.

  It felt so good. He felt so good. His mouth was heaven, tasting, licking, sucking every inch of me until my hips were rolling and I was on the verge of exploding from the unbearable pleasure.

  I moaned his name, crying out as my body shuddered and my hips jerked under his expert touch. He held me down with one strong hand, his lips and tongue unrelenting even as I climaxed in a forceful wave of sensation.

  When I thought I couldn’t take any more, he dipped his tongue into my trembling entrance then drew it out to flick over my clit in firm strokes that pushed me over the edge again. My body exploded, and I screamed his name, tears stinging at my eyes when he finally released me.

  I drew my legs up, barely able to breathe. I was weak and boneless, heavy with spent desire. Jason rose to his feet, towering over me as he removed the rest of his clothes.

  I could never get tired of seeing him naked. His body was perfect, and his erection was like a work of art. I reached for him as soon as he joined me on the bed, my hand circling and stroking the soft skin stretched tight over his hard, swollen length. I lowered my head and kissed the tip, running my tongue over his warm flesh.

  He made a sound deep in his throat and started to draw me away from his cock. I resisted, taking him deep into my mouth until he was teasing the back of my throat, and then I drew my lips over him, moaning as I released him.

  “Jesus!” He let out a groan. “I need to fuck you, Daphne.”

  “I know,” I whispered. He eased me onto my back and spread my legs, kneeling between my thighs. He fisted his cock and positioned himself, probing at my wet entrance before sliding slowly inside my body.

  “God!” He lowered himself over me, bracing his weight on one hand. His eyes bathed my face with warmth. “You feel so fucking good.”

  He felt like heaven the way he filled me completely, stretching me inside just the way I needed. I met his initial thrust with my hips, and his throat bobbed. His gaze stayed on my face as he withdrew then slammed deep into me, burying himself to the hilt in my eager, yielding flesh.

  I gasped, my eyes fluttering closed as he withdrew for another stroke, and then another. My whole body felt hot, tender, ready to explode with delight. “Don’t stop,” I begged, past the point of self-consciousness.

  “Never.”

  “Oh God!” My legs fell wider, weak from pleasure. Each stroke between my legs sent an additional spark to heighten the explosion threatening my body. I clutched at Jason, my fingers digging into his butt, scratching along his back, pulling at his hair.

  “I love you,” I cried, sure I was going to die of pleasure.

  He responded by thrusting deep into me, giving me everything. My body started to shake, and he increased his pace, guiding me expertly into a climax that shook me to my bones.

  He came with me, letting out a loud groan as he pushed deep into me and let go of his control. His body shook with release, and I wrapped my arms tight around him.

  We lay together for a very long time afterward. Jason dropped soft kisses on my face and neck and stroked my hair.

  “You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

  I smiled. “So are you.”

  He drew me even closer, tracing his fingers over my back. “You’re mine,” he said again, this time so softly I barely heard him.

  “Always,” I replied. “Always yours.”

  Chapter Six

  Later, I microwaved the takeout, and we ate while watching a sitcom on TV.

  Jason’s eyes barely left my face. “I had the impression that after letting you go for a whole weekend, you’d be spending most of this week at my place.”

  I popped a piece of spicy chicken in my mouth. “I still live here.”

  “Only because you’re stubborn.”

  “Maybe I just like it better here.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not possible. You like my place far better.” He smiled. “I live there.”

  I laughed softly. “You’re so full of yourself.”

  He gazed at me, his expression solemn. “Whatever is going on, promise me it doesn’t matter. Promise me it can’t change this.” He took my hand and wrapped his fingers around mine. “Promise me.”

  “Nothing can change this,” I said, my voice sounding almost fervent.

  “I hate to leave knowing there’s somet
hing you’re not telling me.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I whispered. It was true. It didn’t matter to me. Nothing mattered more than the fact that I loved him with every fiber of my being. “I’ll come over after work tomorrow.”

  He grimaced. “I’m working late, so you’ll probably be asleep when I get home.” He thought for a moment. “And I have a trip Wednesday through Friday.”

  “Amy and Colin are leaving on Friday.”

  “I’ll be here for that,” he said. “And afterward, I’m all yours.”

  “We could go to the beach house,” I suggested. The memories from the time we’d spent there were like a constant source of warmth in my chest, and if I needed anything right then, it was warmth, good memories, and him.

  Jason smiled. “Perfect.” He leaned down and kissed me. “I’ll make the arrangements.”

  Soon after he left, I went to bed. Outside my window, I could hear the faint sounds from outside, the sound of a car on the street, a slamming door, the occasional whistle of the wind as it whipped past the concrete buildings. I gazed at the painting on my wall that Jason had given me all those months ago. It seemed like such a long time ago, almost as if lifetimes had passed.

  When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed I was drowning under the weight of a secret, and I was helpless to save myself.

  “Now I know how Colin felt when he was coming to meet my parents.” Amy sighed and secured the lid on the box she’d just finished packing. I’d brought a half-bottle of wine from the fridge, and I poured a glass then offered it to her.

  She took it gratefully, taking a long sip before climbing onto the bed and resting her back on the headboard.

  “You don’t have to look so tense,” I said, almost amused. “You’ve already met them, and they love you.”

  “Skype isn’t the same as meeting them.”

  “Don’t let their advertising department hear you say that,” I quipped, joining her on the bed. “It’ll be fine, Amy. You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m worried you’ll like it too much over there, fall in love with—”